1 Making time for family

Lifted from an article by Scott Taylor in the February 21 issue of the Church News, entitled "Family time, meals are positive factors"

Eating meals together as a family is one of the single most effective things parents can do for their children. "It's good to spend time together as a family, and it's good to eat together," said Dr. William J. Doherty, a family therapist, educator, and researcher, in an address on "Parenting in a Too-Much-of-Everything World" at Brigham Young University on February 12.

"Researchers are showing that this kind of 'older wisdom' is really quite important—and young parents raising children believe it, but it's hard to practice. When you lose your family meals, it's hard to get them back," Dr. Doherty affirmed.

Numerous national and multi-national studies show that family meal time is a strong predictor of academic and psychological adjustment in children and teens—even better than time in school, sports, or cultural arts. Regularly eating together as a family also decreases future involvement in alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, depression, and eating disorders.

He showed a video segment that followed a family around for a weekday afternoon and evening. Within five hours, the three children had managed to squeeze in eight after-school activities as well as snacks, separate dinners, homework, and getting shuttled from practice to lesson to home.

While studies have shown that extra-curricular activities have some positive impact on the academic, social, and psychological development of a child, other studies say that an overload of such activities has a much greater negative impact.

Children don't have opportunities to play. Children and teens are failing to benefit from social skills often developed in unstructured, unsupervised, unofficiated experiences with their brothers, sisters, and friends. "We used to call it 'going out to play,'" Dr. Doherty said. It is where a child has to find someone to play with, convince them to play, negotiate what to play, teach others how to play, help enforce the rules, and decide when to stop.

"There's so much to offer our children," added Dr. Doherty, "that wisdom and balance is difficult . . . and in the process, children grow up too fast."

Parents work to limit scheduling and eliminate overloads, training and teaching children with an end result in mind. Making changes to emphasize family time together and family meals is difficult but doable. He said, "I think we as parents should determine our success [when they are] at age 25, not by how much the like us along the way."

"Be willing to set a course in a consumer culture that says, 'We have a value-based family, a family with vision, and we're setting that course,'" he said, adding that "it takes courage, it takes vision, it takes values, and it takes being a part of a community the has vision and values and courage to parent wisely in a too-much-of-everything world."

2 Quote of the week

"One of the most inevitable aspects of our lives here upon the earth . . . is change. At one time or another we've all heard some form of the familiar adage: 'Nothing is as constant as change.'

"Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly" (Thomas S. Monson, "Finding Joy in the Journey," in Ensign, Nov. 2008, 84).

3 This week in our family

Mon, Feb 23: Lyle & Barbara married 1954
Tues, Feb 24: Jeff & Liz married 1990 [Gail]
Thurs, Feb 26: Fiftieth anniversary of family's move to Nampa
Sat, Feb 28: Shawn Tully's birthday [Gene]
Sat, Feb 28 [born Feb 29]: Blake Austin DeMartini's birthday [Ray]
Sun, Mar 1: Fast Sunday
Mon, Mar 2: Nicole Lynn Real's birthday [Gene]
Mon, Mar 2: Next issue of newsletter

4 Bits and tidbits

Missionaries in Peru
A report on Kay and Karen's mission in Peru from Karen's e-mail dated February 15

Yesterday Sister Elmer invited me to attend the baptism of one of the pensionistas. For those of you who do not know or remember, a pensionista is the sister who feeds our missionaries. We started with another mini-miracle. As I went to get in the van, Zully (pronounced Sully), who was in the front seat had opened her door and closed it....on my hand. A "voice" immediately told me to stay calm and to not move my hand. It was really amazing, because when Zully opened the car door, my hand was perfectly fine. I had no pain at all. Today I have a slight bruise on my ring finger knuckle.

The baptism was really special. I had met Rosario when we had the luncheon and training of the pensionistas. She is a really fun sister. Her mom flew in from Florida and the room was filled with family and other pensionistas. There were three talks and a beautiful musical number. Some of the most beautiful hymns we have heard are sung in Spanish. The word meaning is kind of weird but the hymn is beautiful. After Elder Johnson baptized her and she was changing, two elders taught the restoration of the gospel. It was really beautiful. The spirit was very strong. It made me think back to when our family was baptized and what a very special time that was. . . .

Today after sacrament we met a sister, who now lives in Texas, who was taught and baptized by some of Kay's companions in 1962. What a wonderful time they had reminiscing and finding out who was where. We talked for an hour and it was wonderful. When she was old enough she served a full time mission and was able to teach and bring many into the gospel. For the past 20 years in Texas she has been teaching gringos that a kiss on the cheek and a hug is the Latin way of saying "I care about you, my friend."

Facebook
Thanks to encouragement and help from my daughter Rebecca, I have now joined Facebook, and in only a week am up to 44 friends I am connected with, including many of you family members:

Lyle's family
Doug Cleverly
Thomas Cleverly

Kay's family
Kay B Cleverly
Austin Cleverly
Nicolle Cleverly Higley

Gene's family
Lou Real

My family
Dean B. Cleverly
Michael A. Cleverly
Shauna Cleverly
Cade Hoff
Rebecca Cleverly Hoff
Rachael Cleverly Hodson
Anna Cleverly Halverson
Chris Taylor
Camilla Cleverly Taylor
Eliza Cleverly Challis
Paul Challis
Vince Oveson
Mary Cleverly Oveson

Dale's family
LeAnn Cleverly
Sarah Rager
Kira Cleverly
Keisha Lynn Cleverly

Jackie's family
Jolene Head

If others of you out there, other than the 24 family members listed above, have joined Facebook, please feel free to let us know. We'd like to be your friend.

5 Our family 50 years ago

What our family was up to during the final week we lived in Oregon, based on entries in Dorothy's Oregon Diaries during February 1959. The full text of her diary can be found online and is updated daily, exactly 50 years to the day after it was originally written.


Mon, Feb 23. Ivard took 3 calves & baler over to new place then when Kids came home from school they loaded 2 heifers & cultivators & Ivard & Gene & I took them over, first time Gene had see our place. He likes it. Ivard is going to take his other weeks vacation this week so we can move. Kay went over to Patriarch Burgess & had his patriarchal blessing.

Tues, Feb 24. I laid off the rest of week to move & go to Baker to ball games. We took a load of books over in car & bottles. Came home at 2: & I went over to school to Deans Room's Mothers Tea. At 7:30 Ivard Gene and I went over to High school to F.F.A. banquet. It was real nice.

Wed, Feb 25. At 8: Mr. Hopkins came over and they moved all our cows, but 2, in two loads over to new place ($20., $1. a cow). Then when Kids came from school Ivard, Gene & I brought other 2 cows over & milker & while they put it up & milked I got 20 pieces iorned & hung in closet. We came home & ate, Ray had fed kids & him & Kay had gone to Mutual.

Thurs, Feb 26. Ivard got up early & went over to new place & milked & we ate & Kids went to school. Ray stayed home & we packed & when Ivard came home Tom & Guy brought their truck up & Ray Schulthies came over & they moved all our furniture to new place. At 3:30 Ivard & I left Ray & Jackie to streighten up & milk & we took supper over to old place for Dean & Dale, they will stay all night there. we left davenport & Gene came & slept with them when he got from Baker. At 5: we went to Baker & went to to tournment. Huntington beat us out. Ate at Ontario on way home. stoped in & saw Kids were OK. Got home at 3: A.M from Baker.

Fri, Feb 27. Ivard got up & milked & I took Ray to Adrian to school. We stoped in old place but Kids had gone to school on bus. I went & saw Ad about Kay & Gene staying with her until school is out, then can. I came back to old place & packed fruit & clothes in car. Ivard, Gene & Dean got a load of hay & brought. Kids like place first time Dean & Dale saw house.

Sat, Feb 28. Ray, Dale & I went to Nampa & bought a new 2 piece davanport & chair & they gave us 2 table lamps, 2 end tables, a floor lamp & coffee table. bought a occasinal chair & they gave me a 6 qt presto cooker & bought a vacume (hoover) & they gave me attachements, furnace went out last night & they brought us oil this morning. We went on over to old place & Ray cleaned up. Ivard & Gene were loading up when we got there. We came home & I iorned & Ray got supper & Ivard & Gene did chores. We ate & they delivered our new furniture. Everyone sure likes it. Kay likes place.

Sun, Mar 1. Gene milked & Kay & Ray took off without him & went over to owyhee to sunday school & sacrament meeting. Ivard, Gene & I went over to other place and hauled another load of bottles, fruit and the dressers. Ivard milked and I took Kay & Gene over to Adds to stay week & go to school.

6 What in the world

Special Olympics
The 2009 Special Olympic Winter Games, with partipants from nearly 100 countries around the world, were held in Boise, McCall, and Sun Valley, Idaho, the week of February 7-11. Church members from 34 stakes across the state of Idaho participated in hosting and supporting athletes in their events, according to an article in the Church News on February 21.

Larry Miller dies
Larry H. Miller, Utah businessman, owner of the Utah Jazz, philanthropist, died Friday, February 20, at his Salt Lake home at age 64. He was surrounded by his family as he succumbed to the effects of type 2 diabetes and its various complications. His funeral will be this coming Saturday.

Darwin awards
The Darwin awards are bestowed each year, honoring the least evolved among us. Taking this year's number five spot: An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he had received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

7 A final word

The world is full of stuff. And, as we were reminded last week, we can take precious little of it with us as we move about on our mortal journey of faith. And, when we leave this place all together, moving on for a final time, it is certain that none of our earthly stuff will go with us.

Perhaps the worldwide economic crisis we are facing, though painful for far too many, is precisely what we need right now. Maybe it's good for us. Maybe the financial meltdown is a timely reminder that we have too much stuff. Or that we have too much attachment to the stuff. Or too much confidence in the stuff.

"Behold," the Prophet Joseph wrote from the dark prison at Liberty, "there are many called, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen? Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world" (D&C 121:34-35).

Hearts set so much upon the stuff. Not a good formula for those who seek to be happy.

"Happiness," the Prophet also reminded us, "is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God" (Teachings, 255-56).