A blog posted by our daughter Rachael on November 5, the day after the election, that sums up as well as anything I've seen the differences that could divide us if we were to let them. For the sake of space, I've shortened her original post a bit. She refers to her husband as DH and their precocious first child as Uno.
DH and I have very different organizational styles: He likes things neatly filed away and out of sight; I feel most productive when I have stacks and piles out in front of me. My way looks messy, I admit, but I promise there is order and purpose in the chaos.
DH's anxiety flares up when he sees the state of my desk. I feel great anxiety any time he threatens to "clean it up" for me, as he did on Sunday.
The two older girls came into the room at the height of our discussion about organizing the desk. "Stop fighting!" the very sensitive Uno said. Now, we weren't fighting (I wouldn't have been talking to him at all if we were); we just happen to enjoy banter and spirited debate especially where our views differ (and frankly, even when we agree). That's pretty much always been our dynamic.
I explained to her that we weren't fighting, we were just hashing out our different ways of doing things. "I like to organize things into piles," I told her, "and Daddy likes to put them away in a drawer. Dad wanted to organize all this stuff his way—but I'm the one who uses the office most and needs all these papers, so if he put them away I wouldn't know where to find anything."
See? Makes perfect sense. I win. Case closed.
"Well," DH said. "All Mommy has to do is let me alphabetize it, and then she can find anything she needs."
I balked, my anxiety flaring up again. Alphabetizing won't help if he's the one doing it! Let's consider: Would he put the car insurance policy under Auto? Car? Insurance? Would our largest monthly bill be under M for Mortgage or H for House Payment? No, no, no. He is not to touch my piles. I know where everything is and he'd better not touch anything, I told him.
"Ah, come on. Why won't you let Daddy do it?" Uno asked. "Don't you know your whole alphabet?"
Silly family.
The thing is, I know that DH isn't wrong in wanting to clear off the desk. I believe he would concede that I'm not wrong, either, in wanting to know that every scrap of paper is where I put it. We just have different ways of accomplishing our organizational goals—which brings us (clumsily) to the U.S. Presidential election, decided last night in the favor of Barack Obama.
I know that there are plenty of people in my community and in my own family who feel not only disappointed in the election results, but anxious. They may be the proverbial filers to my piling tendencies, and the thought of having the nation's affairs put in order by someone who does things so much differently makes them nervous. I totally get that. But I hope they also realize that, while he sees things from another point of view, President Elect Obama has just as much love for this country as his opponent does and that, like Senator McCain, he only wants the best for the nation and its citizens.
At some point my piles are going to outgrow the available space on the top of my desk; at some point I am going to have to compromise with DH and file the old papers away. The thought makes me a little queasy—it feels wrong and unnatural—but eventually I'll have to buck up and do it. I think I'll feel far less uneasy if DH and I work together to file things than if, say, he surprised me with a clean desk one day when I'd been out grocery shopping.
The same thing goes for the country: The Democrats won't be able to deliver on all their promises without a little compromise and concession; the Republicans, again the minority, certainly won't. And in either case, whether you identify with the party of the Filers or with the Pilers, I think that anxiety you feel over the other will lessen if you remain involved in the process. That's not to say you have to run for office, yourself, but keep aware of current events; write to your elected representatives about issues you care about, locally and nationally; don't vote just once every four years, but for all the little local elections, as well.
We live in an amazing country. I feel like we're in good hands—and not just because my preferred candidate won the presidency, but because I know that my more conservative friends and family are intelligent, informed, and passionate about politics and the direction our country is headed. We may have different ways of accomplishing our goal of a stronger, better America, but in the end we do have the same goal; because of that, I'd say our future looks pretty bright.
(And hey, DH . . . . Pssssst! Don't touch my piles.)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
1 Ballot Initiatives
Tomorrow's elections contain opportunities to decide on a variety of public policy issues. We summarize here ballot initiatives in some of the states where members of the family currently live.
Idaho
There are no statewide initiatives on the ballot in the Gem State. Supporters of three measures (on animal rights, judicial reform, and business regulation) failed to obtain enough signatures by the May 1 deadline to get the issues on the ballot.
Utah
The Beehive State has five constitutional amendments on the ballot:
- Amendment A revises various provisions affecting succession of executive branch officers.
- Amendment B makes changes to the permanent state trust fund.
- Amendment C changes the start and duration of the legislature's annual general session.
- Amendment D clarifies the time when the legislature is required to divide the state into congressional, legislative, and other districts.
- Amendment E allows the state to invest money in private stocks or bonds if the money comes from the State School Fund or from land granted by the federal government.
All five seem to be reasonable updates to the state's constitution. No arguments have been submitted against any of them.
Washington
Three initiatives are on the ballot in the Evergreen State:
- Initiative 985 is on transportation and would open high-occupancy vehicle lanes to all traffic during specified hours, require traffic light synchronization, increase roadside assistance funding, and dedicate certain taxes, fines, tolls and other revenues to traffic-flow purposes.
- Initiative 1000 deals with aid in dying. It would permit terminally ill, competent, adult Washington residents who are medically predicted to have six months or less to live, voluntarily to request and self-administer lethal medication prescribed by a physician. Supporters refer to the measure as the Death with Dignity initiative. Critics refer to it as the Assisted Suicide initiative. The initiative is based on a measure Oregon voters passed in 1994. Oregon is the only state to have enacted similar legislation.
- Initiative 1029 would revise examination, certification, and professional discipline standards and requirements for long-term care workers for the elderly or disabled.
California
Twelve propositions will appear on statewide ballots in the Golden State, in addition to 380 local ballot measures. The statewide issues deal with transportation, animal rights, health, abortion, law enforcement, the environment, election reform, and a bond issue.
Arguably the most controversial and most publicized of the measures is Proposition 8. It deals with the definition of marriage in California. A lot of time, effort, and money has been spent by both supporters and opponents of this measure. If passed, the proposition would amend the state constitution to prohibit same-sex couples from marrying in California and would state that "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." The proposition would restore a state law approved in 2000 by 61 percent of California voters until it was struck down in May 2008 by a 4-3 vote of the state supreme court.
Texas
There is no referendum or initiative available in Texas. And no constitutional amendments this year. Hence, there are no issues on statewide ballots in the Lone Star State.
Nevada
Four initiatives are on the ballot in the Silver State:
- Question 1 would eliminate an unconstitutional requirement that a person must reside in Nevada for six months prior to an election in order to be eligible to vote in that election.
- Question 2 would prevent government agencies from using eminent domain to take land from one private owner and give to it another private owner.
- Question 3 deals with tax exemptions.
- Question 4 deals with sales tax and voter approval.
New Mexico
Five proposed constitutional amendments and four proposed bond issues are on the ballot in the Land of Enchantment. The constitutional amendments deal with details of governmental administration and election issues.
Georgia
Three constitutional amendments are on the ballot in the Peach Tree State:
- Amendment 1 encourages protection of Georgia's forests through special assessment and taxation of forest lands and assistance grants to local governments.
- Amendment 2 allows local governments to use education property taxes to fund development projects.
- Amendment 3 authorizes the General Assembly to provide for the creation and regulation of infrastructure development districts.
Idaho
There are no statewide initiatives on the ballot in the Gem State. Supporters of three measures (on animal rights, judicial reform, and business regulation) failed to obtain enough signatures by the May 1 deadline to get the issues on the ballot.
Utah
The Beehive State has five constitutional amendments on the ballot:
- Amendment A revises various provisions affecting succession of executive branch officers.
- Amendment B makes changes to the permanent state trust fund.
- Amendment C changes the start and duration of the legislature's annual general session.
- Amendment D clarifies the time when the legislature is required to divide the state into congressional, legislative, and other districts.
- Amendment E allows the state to invest money in private stocks or bonds if the money comes from the State School Fund or from land granted by the federal government.
All five seem to be reasonable updates to the state's constitution. No arguments have been submitted against any of them.
Washington
Three initiatives are on the ballot in the Evergreen State:
- Initiative 985 is on transportation and would open high-occupancy vehicle lanes to all traffic during specified hours, require traffic light synchronization, increase roadside assistance funding, and dedicate certain taxes, fines, tolls and other revenues to traffic-flow purposes.
- Initiative 1000 deals with aid in dying. It would permit terminally ill, competent, adult Washington residents who are medically predicted to have six months or less to live, voluntarily to request and self-administer lethal medication prescribed by a physician. Supporters refer to the measure as the Death with Dignity initiative. Critics refer to it as the Assisted Suicide initiative. The initiative is based on a measure Oregon voters passed in 1994. Oregon is the only state to have enacted similar legislation.
- Initiative 1029 would revise examination, certification, and professional discipline standards and requirements for long-term care workers for the elderly or disabled.
California
Twelve propositions will appear on statewide ballots in the Golden State, in addition to 380 local ballot measures. The statewide issues deal with transportation, animal rights, health, abortion, law enforcement, the environment, election reform, and a bond issue.
Arguably the most controversial and most publicized of the measures is Proposition 8. It deals with the definition of marriage in California. A lot of time, effort, and money has been spent by both supporters and opponents of this measure. If passed, the proposition would amend the state constitution to prohibit same-sex couples from marrying in California and would state that "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." The proposition would restore a state law approved in 2000 by 61 percent of California voters until it was struck down in May 2008 by a 4-3 vote of the state supreme court.
Texas
There is no referendum or initiative available in Texas. And no constitutional amendments this year. Hence, there are no issues on statewide ballots in the Lone Star State.
Nevada
Four initiatives are on the ballot in the Silver State:
- Question 1 would eliminate an unconstitutional requirement that a person must reside in Nevada for six months prior to an election in order to be eligible to vote in that election.
- Question 2 would prevent government agencies from using eminent domain to take land from one private owner and give to it another private owner.
- Question 3 deals with tax exemptions.
- Question 4 deals with sales tax and voter approval.
New Mexico
Five proposed constitutional amendments and four proposed bond issues are on the ballot in the Land of Enchantment. The constitutional amendments deal with details of governmental administration and election issues.
Georgia
Three constitutional amendments are on the ballot in the Peach Tree State:
- Amendment 1 encourages protection of Georgia's forests through special assessment and taxation of forest lands and assistance grants to local governments.
- Amendment 2 allows local governments to use education property taxes to fund development projects.
- Amendment 3 authorizes the General Assembly to provide for the creation and regulation of infrastructure development districts.
2 Quote of the week
"Many areas of the world have experienced difficult economic times. Businesses have failed, jobs have been lost, and investments have been jeopardized. We must make certain that those for whom we share responsibility do not go hungry or unclothed or unsheltered" (Thomas S. Monson, Ensign, Nov. 2008, 60).
3 This week in our family
Mon, Nov 3: Stan & Patty married 1978 [Lyle]
Tues, Nov 4: Andrew's birthday [Dean]
Tues, Nov 4: Vince & Mary married 2006 [Dean]
Tues, Nov 4: Election day
Wed, Nov 5: Liz's birthday [Gail]
Thurs, Nov 5: Angie's birthday [Gail]
Fri, Nov 7: Dayvis's birthday [Lyle]
Sat, Nov 8: Michael Duay's birthday [Gail]
Sun, Nov 9: Paul Challis's birthday [Dean]
Sun, Nov 9: Garrett Reher's birthday [Ray]
Mon, Nov 10: Next issue of the newsletter
Tues, Nov 4: Andrew's birthday [Dean]
Tues, Nov 4: Vince & Mary married 2006 [Dean]
Tues, Nov 4: Election day
Wed, Nov 5: Liz's birthday [Gail]
Thurs, Nov 5: Angie's birthday [Gail]
Fri, Nov 7: Dayvis's birthday [Lyle]
Sat, Nov 8: Michael Duay's birthday [Gail]
Sun, Nov 9: Paul Challis's birthday [Dean]
Sun, Nov 9: Garrett Reher's birthday [Ray]
Mon, Nov 10: Next issue of the newsletter
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